In defense of Krispy Kreme…

I could have written a comment on Raymond’s blog about his dis of Krispy Kreme, but then I thought I’d write a full fledged entry. He says:

I don’t understand the appeal of KK donuts. They have no flavor; it’s just sugar.

…and with that, Raymond proves that he did not grow up in the South. First, it is a maxim of Southern cooking that anything that tastes good with sugar will taste even better with lots more sugar. Case in point: iced tea. Frankly, I don’t know how the rest of the world manages to drink tea without a ton of sugar dumped in it. My mom’s recipe for iced tea? Make about a quart of tea and then dump in 3/4 a cup of sugar. Sure, what you get tastes more like sugar water than tea, but that’s the point. Southerners would pour raw granulated sugar down their throats if their stomachs could handle it… Which, now that I think about it, may explain Krispy Kremes…

Of course, the reality is that my opinions of Krispy Kremes, like Raymond’s opinions of Dunkin Donuts, have been bred in. Growing up in North Carolina, home of Krispy Kreme, I’ve been eating those suckers since I was a kid. Nothing says “home” like Krispy Kreme, which is why the KK stores opening up in the Pacific Northwest have induced a kind of cognitive dissonance every time I drive by them. (It’s also weird to see stores that are so new… I’m more used to stores that are so old my parents went to them as kids. I also think those older machines make better doughnuts, but I could be wrong on that.) Now if we could just get a damn Chick-Fil-A franchise opened up in Seattle, I’d never have to go home to see my parents again!

I will have to admit, though, that Seattlites were totally out of control when the first KK opened in Issaquah. There were, like, hour long lines at 4 in the morning. People would ask me, when they found out I was from a state that already had Krispy Kremes, “are they really that good?” My answer was always: “They’re really good but, hey, they’re still just doughnuts.”

(I will add that my parents are safe – I’ll continue to visit them until Bullock’s Bar B Que starts licensing franchises! Mmmmm…. hush puppies…)

12 thoughts on “In defense of Krispy Kreme…

  1. PaulWilson

    You’re absolutely correct. KK rules, DD sucks.
    I have a similar situation about pizza. One of the only reasons I had for going home was GodFather’s Pizza.
    Then my wife surprised me on my birthday and took me to a new one here that I didn’t know even existed!
    Now I should finally never have to go home again. πŸ™‚

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  2. kvakva

    Now let’s see if we can generate more support for the KK side. I haven’t even grown up in the US. When I tried DD (cake) doughnuts they tasted like sugar, that is pretty bad. On the other hand, I liked KK ones, which I tried years later. They are way sweeter than I like, but you can ask them unglazed and then they wouldn’t be sweet at all. Speaking of coffee, I don’t see how somebody would miss DD coffee in Seattle with all these espresso booths and coffee houses around. It’s like missing McDonalds in the land of cheap fancy restaurants.

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  3. Paul Fuller

    Krispy Kremes are nauseating and it’s a disgrace that the FDA allows them to be called "donuts". They’re round– that’s about where the comparison ends. They have the texture of a grease saturated sea-sponge and the taste complexity of a mouthful of corn syrup. Actually, it’s worse than corn syrup– some of them actually have a medicinal aftertaste. I don’t think most of their imaginary flavors would be recognizable in a blind taste test. Compared to them, Dunkin’ Donuts are akin to fine French pastries and homemade cakes. The sight of KK turns my stomach and makes my teeth hurt.

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  4. CarolinaGirl

    Have you ever even had a French pastry?

    To all you fellow southerners… I LOVE IT!!! People who appreciate KK, Chick-Fil-A, (real) BBQ, and Bojangles!!! I miss it now that I’m a transplant in Ohio (although we do have a KK and a C-F-A about an hour from the house). Every time I go home (NC) I have to eat all 4 of these… I’m afraid to move back home for fear of an overdose πŸ™‚ .

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  5. Jeremy Parker

    When I was in the Marines I missed Dunkin’ Donuts so much; we were mostly down South or out West and had the nasty-ass KK donuts in the Chow Halls or in town. Went home for Leave and brought back 2 dozen DD mixed variety. Every single Southerner that ate one said KK is ass compared to these and they wondered why DD wasn’t bigger outside the Northeast.

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